We need to appreciate the greatness we see. We cannot allow the extraordinary to become ordinary. Last night, Juan Soto went 2-for-3, 2 runs, 5 RBIs with his 36th homer. While he hit his homer in the first at-bat, his last eight hits in that span were all homers. If Babe Ruth did that in the 30s, they would still be talking about it. And Dr. Sexy Pepper isn’t even the biggest power threat in the Yanks’ lineup. Aaron Judge (2-for-3, 3 RBIs) hit his 46th and 47th homers. Does he hit 60 homers again this year? He’s become a lock for the Hall of Fame this year, right? We don’t spend nearly enough time marveling at how good he is. I asked a question the other day about next year’s top three, and Judge was the first person people were ready to dump on Elly. And, in this game, probably the most important thing in dreams was Nestor Cortes (7 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.00). Getting seven quick runs helps ease the nerves but I don’t think that’s the full extent of it. If Nestor Cortes fixes his command, he could be a solid pitcher again. It may have happened, it seems that way from his last two starts, but he needs more than two back-to-back starts to be called FIXED. They may be fixed in lowercase from now on. The last two starts are a big step in the right direction, even if that step is a stuttering step straight first, then home, then back to the start. Anyway, here’s what I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Luis Gil – Hit IL with “It’s been six weeks since I can’t lift my arm.”
Anthony Gose – Designed for assignment. Maybe in two years he can come back as a referee.
Jonkensy Noel – 2-for-3 with his 10th homer. Balls hang from the Big Christmas and are best covered in glitter!
Johnny Cueto – 6 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 1 K as called up. Let’s see what the scouting reports have to say about this guy. That’s right, he takes pictures with dead horses, and karate kicked Jason Larue in the head. Ugh…he’s 38 years old. What kind of hope is this?
Michael Lorenzen – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.47. Home start vs. Angels? Yes, Streamonator liked that.
Justin Verlander – 5 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.92 as active. I see non-fantasy people excited about Verlander. That’s good. You should be able to tell the difference between real baseball excitement and fantasy. Verlander may be good as a broadcaster, and maybe he is, but his name and fame (am I a poet?) don’t automatically make him good. Better or worse than say, Colin Rea? Prolly worse.
Alex Bregman – 1-for-4 with his 20th homer, as he returns after five days to “sleep on his bad arm.” I hear, man, one time I was watching Dateline and Keith Morrison might have been explaining that my arm was lost at sea. It’s funny how in football a guy breaks his arm and it’s like, “It could happen on Sunday,” and baseball is like, “He took a nap in his arm, so he’s out for the week.”
David Hamilton – 1-for-4 with his 8th homer. Hello, this is Mr. Guy Who Was Hot in May. What’s up, Mr. Guy Who Was Hot in May, I say hello to your mother! Over time, I saw yesterday that the entire Sawx system was hitting pretty well on average. I believe that this is the only team like it in today’s game.
Matt Waldron – 4 1/3 IP, 10 ER, ERA at 4.79. [puts on James Ingram, sobs uncontrollably] No, I’m fine. Things are good. I have my life, right?
Jackson Merrill – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer, hitting–Guess. Guess what you hit. Go ahead! Find it within fifteen points. Bzzt! It’s wrong! .291.
Matt Wallner – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 8th homer. It’s not true, but it seems like only the Twins can get 10 runs off a starter in less than five innings and nobody really lights up the scoreboard. However, I think Trevor Larnach (4-for-6, 1 run, 1 RBI) could argue that he had a good night.
Simeon Woods Richardson – 5 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.69. The twins jumped into the lead and the SWR sailed out to the W of the Victory Coast.
Jake McCarthy – 1-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 8th homer, 2nd homer in three games. Did you listen when I told you to buy last week? This week’s Buy is already on Patreon again.
Jordan Montgomery – 5 2/3 IP, 6 ER, 6.44 ERA. Guy is going to be one of the best pitchers of all time next season when no one in their right mind is drafting him.
Jake Burger – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and a slam (25) and walks (1). Burger with slam and legs? What is this, Rio buffet? I like when Burger goes into a meatball like The Leftovers, the best show of the last decade? It’s possible!
Mitchell Parker – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.26. One of the worst road teams ever against an average starter at home? This one goes to local Parker.
Luis Garcia Jr. – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 15th homer. He has four more homers than Jrod. Cust kayin’.
George Springer – 1-for-3 with his 17th homer, and 3rd homer in three games. Apparently, Springer has gone on a hot streak. Dealing with littering may not hurt.
Ernie Clement – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 9th homer, second homer in his last two games, but not the Jays last two games, because Schneider, with a pack of smokes wrapped in his white undershirt, is in control Jays like them. we are in a race. Clement is one of their hottest bats, and a guy they should be getting daily looks to see what they have in him for the future.
Spencer Horwitz – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 8th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. Hot schmotato alert!
Yariel Rodriguez – 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.40. The Little Mermaid got it.
Joey Votto – Retired from baseball. It’s time for his next chapter: MLB Commissioner. This will not only heal baseball, but the world.
Elly De La Cruz – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and a slam (22) and walks (60), hitting .262. He made a few big steals in the 2nd half–[dodges tomato thrown] What? [bombarded by tomatoes, it’s too much for even me, a professional tomato dodger]
Jonathan India – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (12) and walks (11). Also, in this game, Noelvi Marte (2-for-4, 2 runs) had a slam (4) and walks (5) and Spencer Steer (1-for-4, 2 RBIs) had a slam (19) and walks. (21). When Elias Sports Bureau was asked if this was too many slams and legs in one game they said, “New phone, who’s putting it out?”
Nolan Gorman – Made for children. The cards said you don’t need to go to NoGo’s home, but you NoGo here. BDon will be a standard 2B of cards now. Yes, my podcast host.
Nolan Arenado – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 14th homer. I have the tumbleweed they used in the movie Twisters. Come on, I’ll show you! Done with this open window–NOOOO!!! The Torenado!
Jose Siri – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 16th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. Hot schmotato alert!
Manuel Rodríguez – 1 IP, 0 ER, 1.82 ERA, as he picked up the save for the Rays on Wednesday. How about the next Cleavinger?
Ryan Pepiot – 6 IP, 2 ER, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.65. I get the sense that some of you want Pepiot to do poorly so you can dump him.
JJ Bleday – 1-for-3 and his 17th homer, also, as his 28th homer in two weeks. If you like boys on the heater, please indulge in Jimmy John’s Bleday.
Logan Gilbert – 4 2/3 IP, 6 ER, 3.21 ERA. [filing this start away with his 2 2/3 IP, 7 ER start from earlier this year so I can point out in the offseason how his ERA was under-3 if you throw out two starts]
Riley Greene – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 18th homer. Is it too late to point out that he was a preseason sleeper? What if it refers to it?
Kerry Carpenter – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 12th homer. Oh, I get what he’s doing. If he plays in 60 games, 100 games or 120 games, he’s still a 20-homer hitter.
Trey Sweeney – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his first homer. When he and Jace Jung were called, I liked Sweeney a little bit (this year).
Andrew Heaney – 5 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 4.04 vs. Domingo German – 6 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 1.50 (in 18 total IP). This compilation was called, “So the Streamonator goes, and so goes the nation of streamers.”
Camilo Doval – He will rejoin the Giants on Friday. Bob Melvin would not commit to returning him to the closer. That’s right, because he has to take responsibility.
Logan Webb – 8 IP, 2 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.13. Web gem! On the other hand, the White Sox won yesterday, but I’m betting they’ve lost more games than any team in history, because I’m a history buff. It will be tight. They have 34 games left and have lost 24 of them.
Fried Max – 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.57. He counts Fried out, and Fried counts himself out. And then he goes out, then he comes in, basically two years now.
Emmanuel Rivera – Requested by O’s. This is different from Emmanuel on the Riviera. That was on Cinemax at 2 AM last night.
Seranthony Dominguez – 1/3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 4.40, third straight game to give up a run. It’s amazing, you’re usually very nice. It is very surprising. It’s even shocking. Wow. Who could have seen this coming? No one, I tell you. I would try Yennier Cano, like I said three months ago, but what do I know? I’m just a blogger. They are nice, but they don’t care.
Mark Vientos – 2-for-4 with his 20th homer, and finally went up in the two hole. I will make big mistakes in how quickly I write to him. The grades? Yes, big Markstakes!
Sean Manaea – 7 IP, 3 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 9 Ks, 3.48 ERA. I had a perfect game in the 6th inning and I didn’t even want to think about it because my mind was doing jinxes, but he hit Holliday with a pitch, got rocked and gave up a Dong Cheezo to Austin Slater.
Francisco Lindor – 2-for-4 with his 25th homer, becoming the first shortstop in MLB history to have three seasons with 25+ homers and 25+ steals. He leads the NL in WAR, according to FanGraphs, which is a good opportunity to say that Lindor is the most underrated player in MLB — he hasn’t made an All-Star team since 2019, and he’s received MVP votes the past two years — and that WAR is used how excessive. I’m not sure when we collectively decided ‘how great a player is’ became a WARS competition, but I think it says a lot about different stats even on different sites. You tell me I have to look at WAR to tell me how great a player is, but when I look at Baseball Reference, I see Ohtani is the NL WAR leader but on FanGraphs it’s Lindor? This is true of baseball; it’s actually funny. Only baseball can have a statistic that says everything that no one agrees on how to measure it. It’s bright.
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