PSYCHE! This post was released on Wednesday to Patreon members. It will be released year round on Patreons, so if people are jumping on you, it’s because they paid $10. Anyway, Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell:
BUY
Danny Jansen – So, it was between listing Jansen, a guy who is likely to be listed in most leagues, or listing Jacob Stallings, who is undrafted and will continue to be no matter how many times I say he was hot. It’s not Jacob Vroomings for a reason.
Ivan Herrera – As The Hague looks into possible human rights violations the Cards told Contreras to step up to the plate, Herrera will take over.
Jon Singleton – Recently, he was “Boyz n the Hood’s Jon Singleton” in “Jon Singleton from every movie after Boyz n the Hood.” RIP, but he would have liked to keep it real.
Tyler Nevin – I was annoyed the other day by Never Nevin, but I told him then as I tell you now, we NevinHeads will not be silenced! Then he punched me, which was not nice.
Kyle Manzardo – I have given you my legend of Kyle Manzardo. It was written when he told Drake to bow out of this fight with Kendrick.
Nolan Schanuel – Just imagine how Schanuel is like Ty France, he checked Player Rater, and they were within spitting distance of each other. You will probably start driving Schnauel and France, Champs De Elysee. Well, not out loud, because I can’t pronounce.
Michael Massey – [Massey kneels in front of Maikel Garcia, Maikel touches both of Massey’s shoulders with the Sword of the Hot Schmotato] Get out and schmotato!
Jorge Mateo – Saw Jorge Mateo doing well in the 7-day Player Rater, so looked at his stats, and he’s doing better than Bo Bichette. Eff me!
Vidal Brujan – As I said the other day, “With Arraez gone, I like Brujan more now. Oh, yes, we’ve been down this road. We cross this road once a year it seems. Brujan has a price! Wow! Then you lift him up, and almost immediately you want to take him down. He’s got 40 speed, looks like he can play and he’s been connecting amazingly so far. Even William Buckley will ask for more Vidal. ” And I’m the one you’re quoting!
Josh Rojas – He was better than Bichette too–Okay, stop comparing guys like Bo Pieceofchette. Rojas is an old favorite of mine. He has power, speed and makes great connections. He’s going to stay on the team, so you can’t set him and forget him like Ron Popeil would like.
Wenceel Perez – In this week’s podcast, when we talked about Wenceel, I started confusing Wenceel and the phrase “As he will” in my head and I almost lost it. Since he will “be” turned into a pumpkin at some point, you have to catch him before it happens.
Nick Gordon – Her brother, Dee Strange-Gordon, honored their mother by adding her last name, Strange, to his own. Well, Nick’s show of strength last week should have Dee honored by taking his name again. So, being Dee-Nick Strange-Gordon or Dee Gordon-Strange-Gordon. His choice.
Jose Caballero – The funniest thing is the people who are taking advantage of Caballero’s late draft, when they did it entirely because of the Spring Training narrative that he will have more power this year, and all of his value comes from his speed.
Ceddanne Rafaela – There are a few guys I like more than I should considering how much they’ve done so far, and Ceddanne is near the top of that list.
Zach Neto – As part of the Angels’ roster, Neto is on pace for a 25+ steal season. Thanks Ron Washington. I said congratulations, Ron! Not snow! Don’t worry!
Abraham Toro – This may be my imagination but the A’s have closed the, uh, corner outfield market with a 15/5/.240 hitter. JD Davis? Yes. Brett Harris? Uh, sure. Toro? Yes. Nevin? Prolly, yes.
Brett Baty – See what I said about Ceddanne. Thank you Baty!
Patrick Wisdom – In some ways, the Cubs don’t have a bad schedule but they find room to give Wisdom at-bats every year. Not intelligence, but intelligence.
Little Caminero – Can’t press his service time for a long time, right? (Prolly can, sadly.)
Johnny DeLuca – Every year the Rays seem to make a new Josh Lowe. If I had to put odds on who this year’s Josh Lowe will be, I would say DeLuca, but due to the lack of options on the Rays. It’s not Caballero; he’s headed for a 7/30 season, not exactly Lowe’s, but worth it.
JJ Bleday – “It was a good Bleday…” That’s Ice Cube looking at his team.
Leody Taveras – “May you rise above the fray and put together a hot schmotato forever, Leody.” For fantasy baseball and Heaven’s Gate peeps.
Logan Allen – This is a Streamonator call, like a call to a radio station. One word of warning about the SON calls this week, I don’t trust them at all. There were just no good options on Saturday and Sunday.
Emerson Hancock – This is also a Streamonator call. “No, I’m not talking like a robot because I want to hear Mr. Roboto. It’s offensive and provocative and wants you to stop playing it.”
Yennier Cano – You have to think the Orioles will be looking for a 9th inning streak, but we’ll see!
Alex Vesia – The good thing about owning a Vesia, instead of Daniel Hudson or Blake Treinen, whoever owns a Vesia gets the preferred electric car parking spot. On a side note, you can call him Alexus Vesia if you like.
Alex Lange – The Tigers went to Foley obviously as the start of the year approaches, and now they have to go back to Lange. Mainly because I would find it funny how aggressive people drawing Lange would be.
John Schreiber – Usually when I give you these average relief shots, I try to stick with guys who just wipe out badly doing dirty dance moves after hitting opposing hitters. No players can get saved soon. Schreiber sounds like someone who shakes his head around the bar and won’t dance at a wedding, forget the damn K Dance. With that said, the average results have been pretty good so far and McArthur has stumbled recently.
Sell it
Bo Bichette – BDon’s shadow floats above me, laughing between cackles. Okay, BDon apparition, I get it! Bichette is broken! Are you happy? BDon preface, “I’m only happy when I play golf–” Okay, BDon the universe! We know! You have a big disability! Wow! So, Boba Chette looks irreparably damaged. He hits everything on the ground at about 16 MPH or in the air almost all the way to 2nd base. Here:
You don’t want to see red anywhere. He can turn it around to some degree, because he’s been unlucky, but what’s the upside? What does Luis Rengifo do? Oh man, that’s the saddest sentence I’ve ever written. I wouldn’t trade Bo Bichette for a CD of Wal-Mart’s top 100 hitters, but I would take a look at our Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore the options.
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