To thrive in chaos, one must embrace chaos. Atmospheric chaos, atomic chaos. Everything is chaotic. None of it is as chaotic as the Mets, though. In Metiverse, they take their worst hitter and make him their best hitter. They zoomed in on the best and made him worse. They pretend their mates are married when they haven’t lived together for decades. Okay, that might be Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman, but it looks like it’s Mr. and Mrs. Met. See how he looks at the players! yesterday, Francisco Lindor (4-for-4, and a slam, his 9th, and legs, his 7th) had a solid game. For him this year, it was a great game! Although his numbers don’t buy Buy Low, they are whispering. He shouldn’t be this bad. Shopping low can work for you. Uh-oh, you’re in the Metiverse, and now Lindor is throwing his glove in the stands and getting a DFA favor for Jorge Lopez. Get out of the Metiverse! Anyway, here’s what I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
JD Martinez – 1-for-3 with his 4th homer, hitting .273. Of course Dong because he wants out of the Mets.
Christian Scott – 5 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.90. He looked amazing, but that didn’t prove anything. He’s young, he’s vulnerable, and he could be worse. Or better.
Reed Garrett – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 2.54, as he earned his 3rd save. It’s always amazing to me how long it takes MLB executives to figure out the obvious. Is Garrett your best pick to close games if Edwin is inactive? Yes, it is not.
Zac Gallen – Left yesterday’s game after 6 pitches. It seemed like his muscle. “Hello, Stamford Doctors place? Stanford is also a hospital? Oh right. However, can pitchers jump while they bubble you? Hello?” Oh, they hung up.
Jack Flaherty – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.46. [getting in the back of an Uber that is a cardboard box made from pasted together Jack Flaherty baseball cards] All right, Flaherty, I took it everywhere. [waving to neighbor] Hello, Bill! Flaherty takes me everywhere. [waving to other neighbor] Hello, Susan. Flaherty! It takes me everywhere! Why am I wearing Joker makeup? Because I sat him on the bench yesterday. Haha, son! No, have a nice day! [lays on a cardboard horn and makes honking noise with mouth as the neighbors discuss calling the mental hospital] So, Jack Flaherty continued to look like an ace, even when I knew that, and didn’t trust him, because I like sores. As I’ve said before, Flaherty’s peripherals look like those of a top five starter. He’s actually better than Tarik Skubal if you cover his ERA. Even if he did well yesterday, I would buy him higher. I’m obsessed with him. [screaming at kids] Clear the road! I’m driving my cardboard car here!
Akil Baddoo – 1-for-4 with his first homer. It was dabba Baddoo!
Riley Greene – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 10th homer, hitting .234. Riley’s life, this guy!
Nick Pivetta – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 4.08. Streamonator likes his next start against the Braves, and as much as it surprises me, I can’t deny it.
Christopher Morel – 2-for-4 and his 10th homer, and, as a programmer I must say, that felt like a good first game for him since the eclipse. Luckily, he’s the hottest type all week.
Seiya Suzuki – 1-for-2, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer. “Thank you for joining me on this roof. Now I’m going to show you how a feather and a corpse take the same amount of time to fall–Hold up! Seiya has moved! He is alive!” Month of May: 2 HRs, .209. He wasn’t even a starter yesterday, replacing:
Pete Crow-Armstrong – 0-for-2, as recalled, but was pulled while in left field, which is over handling. If Seiya only faces lefties, then, woo-boy, that’s bad. I don’t know that, but the monocle is better. PCA has been a ripper in the minors (5/10/.255 in 110 ABs), but contact is clearly still an issue. I’m not convinced he can hit over .230, though with power and speed it might not matter.
Cody Bellinger – 2-for-4 with his 8th homer, hitting .267. No sweat, no struggle, Cody’s stress is purple kush.
Jameson Taillon – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 2.84. Alas, the Cubs haven’t started Taillon since Rizzo. Oh! Streamonator hates the next one, I don’t disagree.
Logan Gilbert – 6 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.29. As of this game, the Mariners have won 54% of their games, which is the number Dipoto wanted them to win, and are in first place in the AL West. My point? Well, I don’t really have one.
Spencer Arrighetti – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 5.98. Arrighetti twisted the Quality Start, without the help of a spoon. My Italian grandfather would see strangers using a spoon to twist pasta and he would stop at their table and tell them they were shy. Ah, you must have loved Arrighetti.
Victor Caratini – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Word of wisdom: Don’t mess with gin and Caratini.
Alex Bregman – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer, hitting .218. You expect Bregman to be good, when guys like Edmundo Sosa are even better? Umm, I don’t know, at home.
Clark Schmidt – Hit IL with “We really need to have starters in the playoffs, so let’s shut down Schmidt right now, then we’ll do the same with Luis Gil in June.” The Yanks say Schmidt is out for four to six weeks.
Logan O’Hoppe – 1-for-4 with his 7th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. O’Hotschmotato.
Aaron is the judge – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer, hitting .273. Judge is on par with 55 homers. You know, the boy has a year without work.
MJ Melendez – 1-for-3 with his 5th homer, hitting .176. The Royals exceeded expectations in every way. They feel like last year’s DBcks. Everyone contributes. Yes, everyone, except Michael Jordan Melendez. This was his only 2nd beat in ten days.
Vinnie Pasquantino – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer. Ay yo Vinnie Pasketti with bada boom!
Daniel Lynch IV – 5 IP, 2 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 2 Ks, ERA at 1.50. There’s something Lynchian about having Roman numerals after your name, so I guess that follows.
Chris Paddack – 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.57. “Get it together, Paddack, I’m not going to win this fake league…” Everlast of House of Pain.
Ryan Jeffers – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 11th and 12th homers, hitting .254. He had seven homers in May (the ol’ 42-homer pace), but was hitting .192 during the same period.
Ray Kerr – 3 2/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 5.82. The Braves are not a good team when they start Raymond Kerr every 5th day. That’s my Perry Mason era.
Trevor Williams – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 2.22. “Ladies and gentlemen, here is your first NL All-Star Game…Trevor Williams!”
Jose Siri – 2-for-5, with his 4th and 5th homers, hitting .188. He now has two straight multi-hit games, and a multi-homer game goes a long way toward a hot schmotato. He won’t be in the Buy column this afternoon, but he’s here now.
Isaac Paredes – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 10th homer. He was good last year, he is good again. That’s called trusting an existing IP.
Hogan Harris – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.14159265. Sadly, he had to battle Mason Miller (2 IP, 1 ER, 2.08 ERA), pitching a game. Well, doesn’t he want the A’s to bring back good prospects when they are traded?
Shea Langeliers – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer, hitting .211. Fun fact! He lost the rights to the brand and now goes by Citifield Langeliers.
Zack Gelof – 1-for-5 and his fifth steal, hitting .176. He said that in the preseason I would have written an excessive letter to Gelof, but he didn’t admit even one, he was very bad. People were surprised! Aghast, I tell you! One person said to a friend, “Did Gray really say that about Zack Gelof? Zack Gelof?!” they were at a red light, and they were so lost in thought, the light changed to green, but they sat there, muttering. Finally, they said, “Take my hand and take Thelma and Louise off the cliff,” their friend said, “More than Zack Gelof? Are you crazy? Let me I got out of this car.”
Source link
