You will struggle to find decent assault charges to avoid. I’m saying that if you stop broadcasting against ‘hitting teams,’ you’re going to have a hard time finding them. Where are they, you might ask. They are not even close to the list owned by Bud Black. His best hitter – easily! – Brenton Doyle scores 6th place. You know, in front of three guys hitting .190 or better. With that he said, Andrew Abbott (7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.06) turned in another good performance in a season filled with them. It is worth looking into whether this is true. [opens Abbott’s stat page, closes it immediately] Can I have el oh el? My xLOL – expected LOL – was about 86.5 on an xLOL scale of 100 and I LOL’d easily. It would be 99.9 xLOL in retrospect. It shows how wrong the expected statistics are. That xLOL figure is as bad as xBA. Abbott has 7.2 K/9, 3.4 BB/9 and is pitching neutrally around a 5 ERA in Cincy. Come on, that’s at least 95 xLOL. How about only 86.5 xLOL. Stupid xLOL figure. Anyway, here’s what I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Rece Hinds – 2-for-3 with his first homer since being called up by the Reds. In Triple-A, he had a 38.4% K% and hit .216. Oh, you’ll fit right in! If you’re Hinds in batting, you’re an ass! Okay silly, he went 23/20 last year and 13/12 so far this year, so he has speed and power. There could be something, I think. Yes, “I think” is meant to be hedged. I don’t think there’s much here in the big picture, but speed and power and hitting? There are worse things, I think.
Alex Young – Acquired by Giants for Austin Slater. Be careful, a hot stove gets hot!
Tommy Pham – Scratching and dental problems. I Googled “Dental Pham” to see what the problem was and now I have ads for dental dams following me.
Trevor Larnach – 1-for-4 with his 9th homer. He has been hitting third, which is like courage. As Baldelli said, “I hope we score with our worst hitter on third down.”
Chris Paddack – 5 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 5.18 vs. Chris Flexen – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.95. This match was billed as, “Can we just call them both Chris Midwest and move on?”
Carlos Correa – 1-for-5 with his 12th homer, hitting .303. What is this I hear about Correa…Exuberance?
Martin Maldonado – 1-for-1 with his 3rd homer. He was so angry that he was insulted at the All-Star Game!
Anthony Rendon – 1-for-4, 1 RBI as activated from IL, and struck out. That’s right, Rendon is back to doing the thing he doesn’t like the most: baseball.
Davis Daniel – 3 2/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 5.82. Damn Daniel!
Jon Gray – 5 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 4.01. Just put the statline of Jon Gray vs. the Angels is my What if He were Pitching Vs. Real Team counter was also 2/3 IP, 6 ER line. Yes.
Corey Seager – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 17th homer, hitting .273, and 2nd homer in as many games. Seager is the type to be the best hitter in baseball for a month or two. Cust kayin’.
Wyatt Langford – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer, as he came up to clean up again in front of Adolis Garcia (1-for-5, 1 run, hitting .214). BDon and I talk about Wyatt in this week’s pod, and how he can still win the AL ROY, because there are zero AL rookies running away with it.
Eddie Rosario – 1-for-4, 1 run as he has his contract selected by the Braves to play outfield and come up big out of nowhere in the playoffs in three-plus months.
Austin Riley – 1-for-4, 2 runs and his 12th homer. Can he reach 30 homers? It is possible. I hope so. Watch him have a boring 2nd half, not hit 25 homers on the year, then hit 12 homers in the World Series or something embarrassing.
Sean Murphy – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer, hitting .224, and his 2nd homer in July. He struck out Sewald in 9 with two outs, so maybe that’s a fire under him to be respectable in the 2nd half, and stop Murphy’s Law from happening in the nose.
Yilber Diaz – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, as he made his big league debut. Here’s what I said yesterday, “Here’s what Itch said before, ‘At 6-foot even and 190 lbs, Yilber Diaz combines a pitching fastball that dominates the zone and a nasty curveball that pairs well with cheese. Unlike Ben Williamson and Jake Bloss, Diaz is Rule 5 eligible this winter, meaning he’ll have to be added to the 40-man roster before then anyway. In the past, teams might look at a guy like this and print his bullpen ticket. And maybe that’s how the team will use Diaz down the stretch this season. I think he has great stuff for a starting running back and could hold that gig if given the chance. The problem is, his command comes and goes, and Double-A hitters don’t punish hitters the way the big leagues can. Or I can punish Gray with my fists.’ Hello! Yilber, or you old people, call him Mr. Ed Diaz, which is appropriate as he looks like a bull, and I won’t touch him in mixed competitions yet, but he calls for a monocle.” And I’m the one quoting Itch!
Gavin Williams – 5 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.82. Most of the hits were weak connections. He was throwing 98 MPH fastballs to the Tigers with ease. Oh, did I mention it was the Tigers? Yes, it’s not good. For me watching Gavin was too much for me to watch the Tigers look bad. Wenceel had me wincin’, Baddoo looks like bad-doodoo. All that said, Williams looked solid. He gets Tampa next in the Sunshine, and that will be a big test. Here he is passing by!
Places to stay in Parker Meadows – Hit the IL with a hamstring strain that looks bad. How bad is it? I’m not sure. I bought what I thought was a bad scale at a flea market, but it turned out it was labeled “bad” because it was broken.
Keider Montero – 6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.64. Okay, this is weird, maybe it’s confirmation bias, but after I saw the Keider Montero pitch I kept seeing Keider Monteros the whole way. If the Tigers start my Hyundai Sonata tomorrow? Well, rather than just a coincidence!
Brandon Nimmo – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer. I’m currently doing my top 100 for part 2 which will be released next Tuesday here (Friday on Patreon), and Nimmo popped up to me as a possibility, and I thought he wasn’t a top 100 guy, then I saw him easily on the top. 50 in the first half on Player Rater. He had to be one of the biggest Buy Lows after April. Shame I couldn’t say that. Stupid mind!
Christian Scott – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.15. I liked Scott – Michael, Baio, Christian – but this is not about that. Streamonator loves the next one, and I’d take him everywhere.
Oneil Cruz – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer. Oh, you know you’ll be in next week’s top 100 in the second half! Know! The only question is whether I rank her above or below Elly. (I’m 1000% kidding. Yes Oneil is ranked number one!)
Joshua Palacios – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his first homer. When he finally saw playing time last year, he hit really well. Okay, “good” is doing better than Ken Patera, and it’s more dependent. But Josh Palace has speed and power, and I have a monocle.
Mitch Keller – 8 IP, 2 ER, 7 hits, zero walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.40. Baseball beginners have been so funny that the biggest takeaway from this startup is, “Wow, he threw 107 pitches. Is that the 2024 record?”
Miles Mikolas – 6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 hits, zero walks, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.88. I don’t want to say anything to jinx his next start, and the last one of the first half, but there’s a ton of pressure released when you start a guy two starts a week and his first one is a cakewalk. “Did someone say cakewalk?” No, Rowdy Tellez, it’s not.
Paul Goldschmidt – 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 12th homer, hitting .229. Oh Shizz!
Alec Burleson – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 14th homer. Burleson’s peripherals look so good you’d think the Cards would have already traded him.
Mitchell Parker – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.44. I streamed him this start, but Streamonator hates the next one, and I’m not trying to scream and press my luck.
DJ Herz – Made for children. To add insult to injury, when she went to get her things out of her closet labeled Herz, it had been returned to the ladies’ room, lined with napkins.
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