A wonderfully disconnected chant, “Oh baby, I’m stomping like us! Baby, we were born to run!” Oh, I didn’t hear you coming in. It’s a Jersey thing, you may or may not understand it! This is a dead man’s place trying to figure out how they didn’t make the playoffs with Mike Trout and Shohei Ohtani. The Angels know you can’t fire without a spark. Zach Neto in front of him, Nolan Schanuel in front of him, I call Christian Moore to climb. Come and find hope growing! Go up to go up! The Angels have been incredibly aggressive with prospects almost as big as Neto and Schanuel, and Moore is essentially a stud. He may have been skipping children altogether. Everyone has a hungry heart for available waiver picks, and everyone has a hungry heart to win a fantasy league. I already have Christian Moore in another deep league. Now, I had a friend who was a great baseball player back in high school, this is not Christian Moore. He was a great baseball player in college – 33 HRs, 4SBs, .384, 14% K%. He did a review of Itch’s top 50 prospects after the draft. Angels will be raising him up soon, because they say hey hey come on, Angels, try a little harder. Nothing is permanent. There has to be something better than Brandon Drury. Wait, that’s The Wallflowers. Meh, it works because Bruce covered it better than the original. Anyway, here are some players you can buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
CUT IT! This post was released on Wednesday to Patreon members. It will be released year round on Patreons, so if people are jumping on you, it’s because they paid $10. Anyway, Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell:
BUY
Joey Bart – [Bart shivering, freezing cold, when a giant hand removes Bart from Buster Posey’s shadow and into the gorgeous sun of Pittsburgh] Ahh…It’s so much better.
Justin Turner – One thing is clear about the fall of Arenado, Springer and Turner this year. I was right that their bats were slow. I was two, three and one year premature, respectively. Alas, Turner has been hot since the trade.
France – Carrying the Eiffel Tower around Cincy with spaghetti on my head, “I’m a Ty France-head! Hey, stop eating on my head.”
Brandon Lowe – When they go to Lowe’s, we go, “Oh crap, I should have gone to Lowe’s before them.”
Santiago Espinal – Fun fact! Santiago hablas Espinal.
Geraldo Perdomo – Part of the challenge of being in schmotatoness is riding the wave of what teams are hitting well. DBags really got hot after the break, and Perdomo has long been a guy I like low key because of his great communication, but also dislike because he has very little power and speed. Think of a young Adam Frazier. Call him Adam Frasier from Cheers.
Jeff McNeil – Almost the polar opposite of Perdomo. Old Frazier. Call him Frasier On’Peacock.
Orlando Arcia – Thinking to myself in the preseason if I knew Arcia would hit 5th behind Olson. [wavy lines] …I don’t really care about Arcia…[wavy lines] That’s a wet dream.
Ernie Clement – A strange week for schmotatoes. The 7-day Player Rater is a yawnucopia of meh. Middle infidels are weak, corner infidels are better, let’s move.
Jonah the Bride – He has been hitting for the third time or cleaning every day, and there is no platooning. He looks like Quad-A-ish, but he has some power and shouldn’t kill you on average. It looks a bit Ty France-ish. Call him Ty-goes-to-the-bridal-runner. Appropriately, I am writing about Jonah the Bride under the chuppah.
Matt Chapman – If I were to type to highlight the hottest bat of the week as a lad, it would probably be Chapman, but again: He should have been listed in more than 50% of the league in the last few months, and at least in the last few weeks. Highlighting guys who are ranked in 85% of leagues doesn’t move the needle. Live, learn, laugh.
Eugenio Suarez – He should have more minor leagues than Chapman. Suarez is having a hot month. Get out your purple mist and catch him!
Zach Dezenzo Here’s what Itch says, “A powerful right-handed hitter at 6’4” 220 lbs, Dezenzo moves well in the dirt for a hitter his size. He was a four-year starter at Ohio State who slugged .701 as a senior after slashing .732 with wooden bats in the MLB Draft League. This is a theme for Houston, who likes to see a little success out of aluminum and reap rewards in the process. Dezenzo was a 12th-round pick in 2022 and has already hit his prime after hitting .305/.383/.531 with 18 home runs and 22 steals in 94 games over two levels in 2023. Speaking of hitting, let me find Gray and ask for a dark cave.” What? One thing that may or may not be accurate but it feels right: The Astros are pitching well and pitching better. Zach Dezenzo was hitting .391 in Triple-A (only 11 games) and went 4/3 with an 18.9% K%. He is a 3rd player, so I think he can go to 1B at least half the time, if not eventually kill the Singleton Experiment, or DH like he did last night.
Wilyer Abreu – Full disclosure warning! I look at every player’s stats for this post. I’m not forwarding all of them, because that shizz is boring. You can click on a player’s name and be taken to his player page if you want and see his stats. That being said, I looked at Abreu’s stats expecting to see a guy I’d be targeting as a sleeper next year, and I didn’t. Very boring statistics. He’s been hot, though.
Joc Pederson – You have to move Pederson in and out of your lineup, but if you can, you’re solid. Also, if you move and remove the Joc from your UTIL. slot, you can say you have Joc itch. What a joy!
Tommy Pham – He just needed to go back to St. Louis to cook a little at home, and by ‘cook at home’ I mean hold his former football commissioner’s hand over the stove until he apologizes for letting a bad trade go through.
Mitch Haniger – I had a great laugh. He went to look at Haniger’s stats, and was disturbed by his expected grades. Was he a 60 speeder? No, it’s okay. I mean, yes, but also: No, no, no, come back.
Matt Wallner – The twins are all attractive if you let mr. Prorater whispers in your ear. “C’mon, Grey, you know you want to see what Wallner can do in a 162-game split season…” [wildly shaking my head while strapped to a hospital bed] No! Don’t tell me!
Michael Conforto – Tyler Fitzgerald is the hottest San Fran Giant, but Conforto isn’t far behind on the 7-day Player Rater. If you know more…
Places to stay in Parker Meadows – Parker? I even rode him! Meadows has solid power and speed, but may not hit .220.
Alex Call – From Meadows to Call, or if Carly Rae Jepsen is reading, Call Me Adows. If you need to steal, Call Alex maybe.
Jake McCarthy – Hello, if not my 2023 dorm, Jake McCarthy! Hello, 2023 sleeper, Jake McCarthy, say hello to your mother for me!
Yariel Rodriguez – This is a Streamonator call, like the call to City Hall.
Luis Severino – This is also a Streamonator call. “So even though we are in love, you are saying that the state will not allow me to marry a woman?”
Ben Joyce – In two minds with Joyce finding the Angels to save. It should, but does it hurt his long-term value? Then again, does Ron Washington listen to the front office about anything? Or better yet, does the Angels front office really think about things like this? Okay, like four concepts.
Daniel Hudson – Want to laugh? The Dodgers spent $2.7 billion this offseason and have no closer. I’d put Hudson first in saves in LA, but it’s almost a four-way tie.
Calvin Faucher – He must rely on the similarity of his surname, and enter the 9th masked, and then, after each blow, pretend that it is interrupted.
Justin Martinez – DBags closest work right now is a combination of Martinez, Ginkel, Thompson and Puk. MaGi TomPuk is a monster with anime sound. And just look at it, it’s Sewald again, although Martinez looks a lot closer.
Hunter Harvey – The Royals would have already won the division if they hadn’t sat out McArthur for four months. It’s not true, but it makes sense.
Yennier Cano – The Orioles’ immediate task is: How many runs do we let these other schmohawks give up before we call Cano up?
Sell it
Adolis Garcia – Remember, this is no longer a “Sell.” The trade deadline has passed for many leagues. If your league has a late trade deadline, then just go to the Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and do what you do. This is, how, a drop and not a sale. So, why do you call it Sell still? “This week’s Buy/Discount?” What nonsense is that? Buying/downgrading? Hello. How about a buy/shut up! Any hoo! The swing-everything, fly-ball-hitting, wheeler-dealer profile doesn’t age well, and Adolis Garcia is its latest victim. He’s not completely out of the royal competition, but he’s been stinking since May. My hope is lost.
Brice Turang – I’m standing at the betting window, “Hey, I’d like to put $5 on ‘The speed doesn’t slow down’ to cover. Thank you.” Two months later, alas, Turang! That was my favorite five dollars! I was joining Turang, but last month it was almost impossible to register in any league. If you’re in the league, then I wouldn’t trade Turang for a bottle of Gavin Rossdale’s Glycerine, but I would go to our Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore the options.
Source link
