Shane Baz two weeks ago, Robbie Ray last week, Jeffrey Springs this week. I know what you’re thinking, Kershaw next week, or Senga or Eduardo Rodriguez or an injured pitcher. No, this is it. I don’t have Florence Nightingale syndrome dream baseball. The dog days are not over! Wait, that’s Florence and the Machine. Well, I don’t have Florence & The Machine syndrome either. We don’t care because we want to save the players back to life, John Irving. We care because Springs was a 2.46 ERA pitcher during his last full season. He’s a 10+ K/9, 2 BB/9 guy, and is out for about three to four weeks. Since the Rays traded Civale earlier this week, they will trade Eflin, too. Can you hide the Springs now to have an ace in August and September? That’s good planning ahead for this Midsommar. See, we have Florence Pugh Syndrome. (By the way, whatever happened to Eduardo Rodriguez? I didn’t think about him, did I?) Anyway, here are some players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
CUT IT! This post was released on Wednesday to Patreon members. It will be released year round on Patreons, so if people are jumping on you, it’s because they paid $10. Anyway, Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell:
BUY
Hunter Goodman – This past Monday this gave me a jolt: my Goodman has earned the right to hold. In the blink of an eye, he’s not a weak-side cornerback but could be a top-20 catcher in two-catcher leagues. Bud Black finally did something useful with a dream in his sad life. Was Goodman good, man? No, my Goodman hasn’t, but he’s in Coors, and did I mention the fit of the pitcher? In the 30-day Player Rater, Hunter Goodman was close to 10 and Bo Naylor was close to 25. Even before you delete Goodman. Chivalry is not dead.
Kyle Higashioka – When I was on the 30-day Player Rater, I noticed that a couple of the Padres hit really well in June, so I went to look at the team stats, and the Padres hit well that season. They are a top five batting team. Zoinks!
Andrew Vaughn – You don’t really like Vaughn, but he’s been hot. He is also boring. Okay, putting that because he’s been hot. But it’s also boring!
Juan Yepez – Called up to replace the demoted Joey Meneses. Yepez hooray is a 15-homer, .230 hitter.
Brandon Lowe – All my girlfriends live in Texas, but all my schmotatoes live in this post.
Rowdy Tellez – In the 7-day Player Rater, there are seven final days of stats, and I saw Tellez steal the bag last week and I cried again. A little cry. Slowly “Wow!” What do you know? I couldn’t resist, I asked for a repeat, and it did not disappoint. He stole 2nd base unopposed! He didn’t even draw a throw! It wasn’t even close!
Spencer Horwitz – I found myself using the Joker makeup while looking at Horwitz season numbers. Meh, if you need average, there are worse guys I think. Joey Gallo, forever. You will be very bad.
Jon Singleton – Trying not to hold against Singleton that you are blocking Loperfido. I am chi, I am light, I am aura. My mellow can’t be hurt.
Jonathan India – All the reds steal the bags, including Johnny India. (He suddenly sounds like a character Keanu could play.)
Gabriel Arias – The security guards were so busy that Arias and Jhonk didn’t even start and cheated on me. Surprised. Exploring my emotions.
Brooks Lee – Here is my Brooks Lee dream. Or rather, my fantasy. Hashtag included!
Zach Neto – Ron Washington agreed that Neto is one of the better hitters but said he can’t stand the high price. Do you know what helps a boy’s self-confidence? No matter what Ron said.
Armando Alvarez Here’s what Itch said the other day, “(Alvarez) called to replace 3B Abraham Toro. He’s 29 years old, so it’s unlikely he’ll be a core piece of Oakland’s build, but I think he’s at least got a chance to stay in Joey Meneses’ shoes. His past three seasons have seen him post impressive wRC+ scores of 117 in 2022, 125 in 2023, and 132 in 2024, all in Triple-A as he waits for a big league opportunity with the Yankees, Giants and Athletics. Unlike Meneses and most of these late-round DH types, Alvarez offers solid defense at the hot corner. In his last 20 games, he is hitting .388/.456/.663 with five home runs and one stolen base. If not now, when? If not my fist to Gray’s skull, then what?” Hello!
Jose Miranda – You have the right to remain a hot hitter! See what I did there? It should, it was very obvious.
Justin-Henry Malloy – More than a month ago, I gave you the dream of Justyn-Henry Malloy. It’s still working!
Harrison Bader – After doing his best Doc Brown impersonation, Nimmo came back and Bader got pushed back in the order, but he kept hitting.
Derek Hill – Here’s what I said after he hit a triple this past weekend, “(Derek Hill) sounds like a Stereotypical 1980s Player, right? Where was he when the wall came down? It’s not too far from the truth. His Razzball is about the classics, and he started in the juniors in 2014. He’s on pace (maybe now) for 50 steals, but it looks like he might hit .220 or less and possibly Quad-A. From all that being said, it’s clear that he’s hot right now and should be caught if he finds anything.” And I’m the one you’re quoting!
Places to stay in Parker Meadows – He was recalled, and went 8/19/.298 in just 47 games at Triple-A. Good news, he’s got a 20-game steal in the middle of the season and some power. The bad news is, he hasn’t shown that he can hit over .200 at the plate.
Stuart Fairchild – I was filling in for Friedl and it was better than anything Friedl did this year. His terrible impersonation of Royce Lewis.
Jake Meyers – Will look at Player Rater to see how valuable Meyers has been this year. (He’s hot, but I was curious about his overall numbers.) Hoo! I found him next to Tayler Scott, and that justifiably scared me. Briefly I thought, “Is Tanner Scott typed?” He is not.
Tyrone Taylor – A star of the silver screen and another Mets hit because it was so hot. (The ‘painful’ time is the time after you are blessed by Grimace.)
Luis Matos – From a test question at Fantasy Baseball College of Charleston, “The Giants aren’t bad at all. Their manager is Bob Melvin, a former catcher. Doesn’t Melvin steal because he makes the catchers feel bad? Please answer in 12 words or less.”
Jonkensy Noel – I gave you my dream of Jhonkensy Noel. I gave it to you while pronouncing his name HONK-see.
Heston Kjerstad – You’ve given a lot of thought to Kjerstad, and how powerful he can be, but the main thing here: Where does he play? I’m not saying I don’t like him, but you have to think about how deep your league is compared to how upside’d it is.
Jose Siri – His end-of-season numbers will be 20/20 and Hugh Downs and Barbara Walters will get up from the ground and say, “I told you you were ready to think.”
James Wood – I just gave you my dream of James Wood, before I give you another dream of James Wood. Dan Pants has just given you his dream of James Wood. Prospect Itch has just given you his dream of James Wood.
DJ Herz – I just gave you my dream of DJ Herz, and this is not a call to Streamonator, as its a call to dog catchers.
Yariel Rodriguez – This is a Streamonator call. “Have you caught robot dogs? I want a friend.” Well, Streamonator is lonely!
Chad Green – Yimi has started throwing without pain, and that could lead to him coming back and saving games. Or, more likely, he’ll go back with his elbow and Green will continue to get paid for the rest of the year.
AJ Puk – Tanner Scott will be shipped out in the next few weeks, so the Marlins’ 9th inning will turn [vomits] or Puk. The vomit was Nardi. Was that confusing?
Dylan Lee – Giving you something to relieve the middle, because you batted your eyelids and asked well. Well? Oh you asked about Dylan Lee? Be brave. Sorry, read that wrong, Braves’ Lee. Yes, Lee has been strong.
Sell it
Anthony Santander – If he hadn’t appeared in the top 50 on Player Rater, I wouldn’t have gone here. I know there are guys you can sell and there are guys who are doing too much work that you can’t get back from them and it’s better to just get them out. With Santander, I am like a group that has cigarettes and depends on the latter. I wouldn’t be doing my job (is this a job? You feel like someone you’re not.) if I didn’t point out that Santander is doing things in a hurry. He hits everything in the air and has a soft contact rate of 20%. I’m shocked that his BABIP is over .200, and it’s almost there. He made the worst contact in the majors. Not to mention I’m still holding 1-888-Voo-Doo to curse him to be traded or benched by one of the O’s rookies. I wouldn’t trade Anthony Santander for the ongoing nightmare that includes the Skibidi Toilet, but I would go to our Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore the options.
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