Little Caminero he was called. Here’s what I said last year when he was called:
“Vroom, vroom, get into my Caminero!” A young man wearing an 18-karat, Italian horn around his neck going over the Brooklyn Bridge.
vs.
“Vroom, vroom, enter Junior Caminero!” A young man pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.
It’s the same, but not completely. The Junior Caminero is not the little car that Spanish boys drive when they are five years old and start growing their moustaches. Junior Caminero goes vroom vroom but only does it when the nearby father makes noise. Junior Caminero is also one of the top five hitters in all of baseball what in the world are the Rays doing calling him right now…*starts singing* Do you remember? On September 21st? Do you remember? Isn’t it September 1st? Do you remember? Radiation? Hello? We ask seriously. So, here’s what Itch said, ‘He’ll finish 2023 as a 20-year-old with 31 home runs across the two levels, 20 of those coming in 80 Double-A games where he’s slashing .314 /.379/.557 17.1 percent batting average. And Gray will be hunted this winter.’ What? He ranked Caminero 6th overall in the top 25 prospects. I’d take him in every league, and now I’m pretty excited for 2024, if Junior Caminero breaks camp. ” And that’s me quoting Itch! So, here we go again. Junior Caminero’s swing packs a punch with bat speed that adds up to impressive exit velocity — 93 MPH average; 56.5 HardHit%, 109.7 MPH 90th-percentileEV. All those numbers compare well. and Wood. The biggest takeaway is that Yandy is in the other corner forever. He looks like a .300 hitter thing works. Get up! Anyway, here’s what I saw yesterday in dream baseball:
Zebby Matthews. – Called by the twins to start.
[wearing clown makeup, putting on a flower that squirts water, talking to another clown]“Was Zebby the one who didn’t speak and only blew the horn?”“I think that was Harpo.”
“Gotcha… Hey, you never responded to that trade proposal I sent you?”
“Two judges? What, am I ridiculous?”
Zebby has direct command. Like crazy. Ay 114:7 K:BB. A 16.3 K/BB, a 28.6 K-BB%, 0.87 WHIP. Oh. That’s right. He had a 1.9% walk rate and a 2.31 FIP in 97 IP among three minor leaguers this year. I wonder if I was there this year saying that pitchers need command first with the pitch clock. I invented modern baseball! Okay, maybe it’s not invented, but I found out how much more walks are now in baseball than Ks. Something that was not true as recently as three years ago. He has a 95.5 MPH fastball (28.8% Whiff%), can throw six pitches for strikes (28.9% Whiff% to all pitches), and an 85.7 MPH slider with a 47% Whiff% in the minors. I’ve been catching Zebby in all the leagues to see how he’s doing. Zebby! [honks horn]
Pablo Lopez – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.67. A really good start, but why am I here if I can’t ask? Even with a strong start, he gave up another race that didn’t get him. If his opponent, Brady Singer – 5 IP, 6 ER, 3.32 ERA – didn’t make number two in bed, and asked you to change the sheets, Pab-Lo would be in trouble. Again, you can’t complain about Singer. He has a 3.32 ERA. That’s a lot better than you thought you’d get in mid-August.
Royce Lewis – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 15th homer. This was his 16th game of the year.
Willi Castro – 1-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 9th homer. Have him in the same league as the stealers. Two this month. Until now! Hope!
Bobby Witt Jr. – 1-for-3 with his 23rd homer, hitting .347. Who is Aroni Mahuleli?! out-Not now Italicized Random Word. Ooh, human evidence.
Jordan Walker – 0-for-3 as remembered from childhood. There is a word that I haven’t heard in a while. He had a ground ball rate of 44.4% in Triple-A this year with nine homers in 78 games. If you look at his structure, he should have 45 homers in Triple-A and just hit everybody. He’s been better lately (15-for-43, 3 2B, 3 HR since Aug 1) with a new opener, and I figured I’d catch him all over the place in case he finds his shizz is gone. I doubt until we see it.
Sonny Gray – 5 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.93. When the matchups get tough, Gray runs to the corner and cries like a little kid whose fur has been ripped from him. He is Grey, not me Grey. Obviously. I was voted the smartest man with IBS.
Andrew Abbott – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.59. His ERA is not only 30 points better than Sonny Gray, he beat him to the punch. So why did I ditch Abbott for Grey, am I stupid? A mirror? Hello! I’m talking to you!
Spencer Steer – 2-for-3, 5 RBIs and a double slam (17, 18), and walks (19). Guess what you hit. Go ahead! Tips: 10.3% walk rate, 20.4% K%. A guess? .237! Wow. Don’t be offended my man.
Elly De La Cruz – 2-for-4 with his 21st homer. His K% is 31.6, and he is hitting .266. Damn, Steer.
Hello Bradley – 4 1/3 IP, 6 ER, 3.49 ERA. Okay, shut him up! I’ve seen enough!
Framber Valdez – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.38. It’s amazing how he threw 101 pitches in 5 2/3 innings. Economics like Alan Greenspan’s biography I use as a door stop.
Alex Bregman – 1-for-5 with his 18th homer, hitting .260, with three straight games with a homer and reaching 1,000 career hits. If he plays until he’s 57, he’ll be a first-ballot HOFer.
Yainer Diaz – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 12th homer, hitting .299. This game was in Tampa, so it’s not important, but how a strong righty can have seven homers at home with those stupid boxes in left field.
Jarren Duran – Suspended for two games for yelling f*got while being filmed on TV. I hope he picks his spots to run better.
Brian Bello – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.97. I started looking at my standings yesterday and my conclusion was, “I have nothing to lose, I’m starting Bello.” Hello, broken clock, here is your time to be ready!
Tyler Mahle – 4 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.79. T. Mahle gives a sad case of indigestion, but the seven K’s were like a sweet, sweet kaopectate, unrelated to relieving the Dodgers.
Corey Seager – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 26th homer, hitting .277. I was watching this game because I like to punish myself by watching Bello, and, I must say, Seager’s swing is abysmal. He is not strong.
Blake Snell – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 3 walks, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.91. Post-All-Star Break Snell is actually Bob Gibson. It’s crazy that pre-All-Star Blake Snell is Kyle Gibson.
Chris Sale – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.61. My surplus post for sale next year will come like crack.
Jazz Chisholm Jr. – Going to check on his painful elbow. Jazz plays a familiar tune.
Luis Gil – 4 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 3.25. Writing this before the game, “Have a great first week Gil. The first game was the White Sox, so that would have been 7 IP, 19 Ks, and zero hits. I’m enjoying the good vibes, baby!” After the game, “the real WT of F.”
Brooks Baldwin – 1-fro-4, 3 RBIs and his second homer, as the White Sox beat the Yanks by ten runs. I’m definitely a skull and crossbones. I am dead and floating outside my body. I skip the bodies.
Amed Rosario – Designed for assignment. They say Ahmed and someone heard Amed, right? DFA’ing Amed is a rich group of problems if ever I heard it. Rosario getting DFA’d when I still have him on a mixed league team is wrong. About 29 teams could use him. It will be interesting to see where it goes.
Mookie Betts – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and a slam (11) and walks (10), as activated from the IL. Kevin of ESPN’s “Get Him In Your Lineup” said, “I realized today that I don’t like coconuts. It’s very hairy.”
Shohei Ohtani – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (36) and walks (33), hitting .298. He’s looking at a 40/40 season without breaking a sweat. Don’t take it for granted.
Clayton Kershaw -5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.50 vs. Freddy Peralta – 6 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.11. The matchup was called, “One guy who pulls it off and one guy who can’t eat a salad.” Does it really represent what Kershaw is doing? 50%? Peralta passed. You know FreddyKBB will have the long-awaited Cy version next year when I’m everywhere.
William Contreras – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer, hitting .286. I’m not sure I’ve said this once without a brief pod: Contreras played 114 games, the Brewers played 117. He catches it. Okay, he has a bunch of DHs, but still.
Leo Jimenez – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his first homer. Fun fact! Leo Jimenez your dad thought was traded to the Orioles.
Bowden Francis – 7 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 4.92. Looked for him at FAAB this week, but couldn’t find him. Because the universe is conspiring against me. In all fairness, I didn’t call that high, and the Broadcaster hates the next one. The good thing is that his command is top-notch, so his iffy hitting will come into play if he avoids homers, which he doesn’t always avoid. High risk, low reward.
Is Wagner – 3-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI as called by the Jays. This is Billy Wagner’s baby. Wagner was with the Jays in the loss of Cavan Biggio. The only way Wagner can go now is if Morgan Ensberg Jr. who quit being an accountant and was sold to the Jays.
Mickey Moniak – 1-for-2 with his 8th homer, hit over .400 last week. Hot schmotato alert!
Jo Adell – 1-for-3 with his 18th homer. I’ve seen a lot of talk about Adell quietly coming into her own. It is possible. He is hitting .273 last month and .300+ in August. He doesn’t strike out, but he bats 9th on a bad team.
Joe Musgrove – 4 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 1 K, ERA at 5.20, as activated from IL and threw 63 pitches. Meh, I still don’t trust him, to be honest, but what’s the price now? Left out? Of course. The cost of doing business as it means the coolest types of businesses.
Ian Happ – 1-for-2, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 20th homer, 3rd homer in four games, and yesterday was his birthday. That made his father Bryce Harper. I will not answer questions at this time.
Pete Crow-Armstrong – 1-for-5, and his 4th homer. Steals are usually his bag, and he’s hitting close to .350 in August, so schmotato.
Jonkensy Noel – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 7th and 8th homers, hitting .250. JHONK if you like a big Christmas!
Ben Lively – 3 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 3.71 ERA. That’s the stench I can’t get over. I’m looking your way, Sonny Gray. Streamonator didn’t like yesterday or the next.
Steven Kwan – 1-for-2, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 13th homer, hitting .326. He has an 8.6% K%. The emoji’s eyes pop out and turn to the nearest microphone and the emoji says, “Hey, can anyone see my eyes?”
Brandon Pfaadt – 7 IP, 4 ER, 8 hits, zero walks, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.98. On the other hand, the 11 Ks are nothing. On the other hand, this was competing with the Suckies. On the other side of the third mitten on the mop handle, you’ve got the win.
Chris Bryant – Hit KB with back strain. Oh, in related news, MLB has renamed the Injured List to Kris Bryant’s list.
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