It will be Father’s Day +1 for American students if this comes to you. Hope you had a good one! If you’ve been bad and need to focus on your fantasy teams a little, I hope your fantasy team is good. If your dream team is breastfeeding you and your dad is breastfeeding you and you’re just looking for some groan-worthy jokes, you’ve come to the right place! Let’s see if we can get your week off to a good start:
That’s What I Like
Heliot Ramos (SF, OF, 19% Planned): If you were to go to ChatGPT and say, “write me a smooth, EWB-style article,” the output would be something like, “ENYWHEY, AHEM, You leegues (that’s where your pods play with your leegues! ) hurt. Comedy tragedy. And you’re laughing to the bank when 4/5 leagues can add the Greek god of smoked ham Heliot Ramos to your team for FREE. What else is free? America. The home of smoked ham with pickles.” Thanks, ChatGPT. But, yeah, your league is a disaster if you don’t have Ramos on your radar. Because I’m no longer on social media, I have this echo chamber of Razzball writer disagreements where everyone edits Ramos also seems to be 100% sorted. Then I look at the unsigned players. Don’t we like 179 wRC+ in the past. That’s why We don’t sign rookies for big pay. Like me, he’s on his third cup of coffee, and this time he’s 8 homers and 30 RBIs and on pace to finish the season with 40 homers and 150 RBIs. .Eco-friendly students close your eyes because that is not sustainable. Although he comes with the first round of pedigree selection, he has not put up the exact numbers he wants right now. If Triple-A stats count, Ramos has 16 on the year and 50+ RBI, which – combined with his insane batting average – would put him right next to Juan Soto as a comparison. Put another way, Ramos has been in the majors half as long as Anthony Rizzo or Paul Goldschmidt in 2024, and has the same HR/RBI output and a 10% better batting average. Give the guy another week and he’ll catch Freddie Freeman on the leaderboards. Stop what you’re doing – yes, stop for a moment you toilet students – and add Heliot Ramos to your team. Start with all formats.
Jesse Winker (WSH, OF, 44% Draft): I got the feature last week so I won’t embellish too much. That’s what Winker figured he would do during the week, as he was hitting .300 with a .462 OBP while adding zero homers and steals. Good thing, he has a few runs and RBIs and that’s…something. Not everyone needs Heliot Ramos. Some people play in division based leagues and need OBP. Maybe those are royal leagues and Ramos has been signed up since the pre-Covid era for $1 by Ricky from Accounting. You, on the other hand, took the team that was left and installed Bobby Bonilla as the starting outfielder. You’re just trying to make a reputation in the league to build some reputation and feel like you’re going to be numb after a day of banging your keyboard on the desk (why didn’t they tell you that was part of team building? It seems more damaging than constructive). WHEY. Winker remains in the top 100 hitters because his league average is .240. Remember folx: you may not like Winker’s .265 average. That’s right. But he is currently +3 runs above average in batting average and +5 runs above average in steals. When you draft a guy like Jo Adell (.191 average), you need a guy like Winker to get back to the basics of hitting average. Otherwise, you just hit the division, and the batting average doesn’t play ball.
Jake Irvin (WSH, SP, 8% Scheduled): Have you ever thrown 5 quality starts in a row and not noticed? That’s Jake Irvin right now. The guy is on the edge of the Top 100 general – and he’s actually SP29 on the year at the time of writing – and he’s the best in the league. In his last 5 starts he is 3-1 with a 1.48 ERA. Exploding against the Dodgers, since May he has posted a 2.20 ERA with a 3.26 FIP while quietly posting a 4:1 K:BB ratio. Of course it’s the Nationals and he could have thrown a no-hitter and lost by 5 runs. You can’t really control Wins. ERA is a manageable type. But control? You can’t fake that. Irvin should be edited in all formats.
I’m the Problem – It’s me
Justin Verlander (HOU, SP, 100% Draft): We all want to go out on our terms. Tom Brady, it has been reported, wanted to get away so badly that he sacrificed his wife and family. Again and again, Brady ended his career with a losing season. For fans of Dark Matter (on Apple TV), there is a timeline where Brady calls it quits in 2020 after winning yet another Super Bowl. There is a timeline of when Brady and Bundchen were still together and it chronicles the completion of his career as he “comes out.” Brady is still cashing in, but yes, there are cracks in the light. Verlander similarly wants to end his career on a high, but it’s not happening this year. Verlander is posting the worst strikeout rates and the second-worst slugging rate of the last decade, along with a career-worst HR/9. Fastball speed? It is the lowest since 2016. His SIERA is 4.50 and his FIP is 5.00. That FIP is especially concerning – it’s the worst he’s ever been since his career began. On top of this, you are dealing with neck discomfort and a lost start. Verlander can still provide value – especially in scoring leagues – thanks to playing for the Astros and getting wins during the season. But for everyone else? The signs are there that Verlander’s reign as the fake MVP is over, and right now, he’s in line to really hurt your team. It is best to continue with all formats.
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