The potato plants will grow soon. It should be a living for the next six months. We have someone at the port of arrival who eats bowls of potatoes like Bubba from Forrest Gump. Potato casserole, crispy potatoes, Hasselback potatoes, mashed potatoes, potato pierogis…And so on. He started in June and has been 15 months, except for that one week he had food poisoning when he tried recycled potatoes. It’s the only entertainment here on Mars. Well, that’s right Jason Dominguez. We hear that he is returning to his studies soon, which is sad. We will miss him, as if we miss the days warmer than -100 degrees temperature, but you can’t have it all if you live on Mars. Jason Dominguez aka The Martian, so named because he’s from Mars, is currently tearing it up for the little ones. For those with the memory of a hummingbird, Dominguez is ridiculous. Last year, he hit four homers in eight games. He is currently hitting the minors as well. I don’t know where he’s playing – are you benching Verdugo? Giancarlo? They are healthy and hit well. I don’t know what happened, but Jason Dominguez is too good to stay in the minors. We could see him anytime. My guess is at the end of this month, but if Giancarlo goes down with a slanted stone, it could be sooner. Also, the days on Mars are long, so if you do the math, it’s very fast! Anyway, here are some players you can buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
PSYCHE! This post was released on Wednesday to Patreon members. It will be released year round on Patreons, so if people are jumping on you, it’s because they paid $10. Anyway, Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell:
BUY
David Fry – To open a restaurant in Fry where all the dishes are even more delicious because everyone who prepares the dishes is worth catching. Yum.
Jake Rogers – He has been worth almost twice as much as Carson Kelly and seems to support Carson Kelly, because: Reasons.
Justin-Henry Malloy – I have given you my tale of Justin-Henry Malloy. If Hinch plays Gio Urshela at first base and benches Justyn-Henry, I might suggest [censored] and when he’s done stuffing that into his own [censored] can reach him [censored] again [censored].
Luke Raley – Prolly one of the most boring guys to ever appear in the Buy column, but also one of those guys who might have all the value of the season.
Jeimer Candelario – He was hot, but Coors, and now there is no more Coors [long sigh] maybe a hot bat.
Brendan Rodgers – See what I said about Jeimer, but added “he plays all his home games at Coors.”
Nolan Gorman – Given the ESPN ownership numbers this year as mentioned before, but sometimes I check again. Gorman is 23% featured on ESPN, and 100% here. I mean, come on.
Connor Norby – I have given you my dream of Connor Norby. It was written with a sweet nose.
Emanuel Valdez – Just watched his nearly ten-year journey through the minors and majors, which began at 17, and has he considered the KBO yet?
Ceddanne Rafaela – At the time of writing this, Ceddanne Rafaela was ranked as the third player on Player Rater, and, on the shortstop front, better than Oneil Cruz, Nico Hoerner, and Dansby, to name a few shortstops. so it gently spits you into thinking that better things are coming.
Casey Schmitt – “So this is just, but…” That’s someone looking at pictures of Schmitt wearing his Fanatics uniform. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, let alone Google AI, it doesn’t need to see that. Program your AI!
Josh H. Smith – When Triston Casas went down, I put on Josh Hulkhogan Smith, and I’ve looked back at Casas once every fifteen minutes or so.
Matt Vierling – Fun fact! UA Vierling is a small Vier. That’s not like Lil’ Vier, who’s a trap rapper or just a trapper.
Mark Vientos – I was very close to making Vientos the lead this week, but I went with the prospect stash, because others like Coby Mayo, James Wood and Jackson Holliday are doing very well.
Jose Miranda – All I will say is that Jose Miranda hits, and you don’t see the shizz from Jose Samantha, Jose Carrie or Jose Charlotte. Miranda Tribe wake up!
Jose Siri – From Jose Miranda to Jose Siri, that is, Joe Mama to Joe Assistant.
Miguel Andujar – Jonah Hill and Billy Beane saw what no one else saw, except for Yankees fans who often said they were trading Miguel Andujar, like other teams for top players.
Nelson Velazquez – His peripherals don’t look as good as last year, which led me to write him a sleep post in the preseason. He makes less successful connections. That being said, he has been hot.
Blake Perkins – Mr. Perkins was my father, please call me [melts into a puddle] B. Lake. He has a 30+ steal rate and has been playing every day.
Alec Burleson – Random prediction warning! Burleson is sitting out the preseason next year.
Jesus Sanchez – Know who can travel across B. Lake? Jesus! (In power, at least, and maybe in the stats, though the Marlins are iffy.)
Heliot Ramos – Thinking back when everyone wanted Luis Matos and laughed at them. A good hearty laugh! Wait, why am I laughing? That hurts.
Austin Hays – You should be playing above Cedric the HRtainer, but are you? This, my friend, is what’s going to happen…uh…sorry, this Magic Eight Ball needs new batteries. One second.
Jesse Winker – He is on pace for the season 15/30. Zoinks!
TJ Friedl – If he’s healthy, he’s a top 40 player, easily. Prolly close to the top 30. Should be included in 100% of leagues. In the words “if you’re healthy,” there’s a whole cheese enchilada.
Kyle Gibson – This is a Streamonator call, just like a call to a cable company.
Sean Manaea – This is also a Streamonator call. “I think I misunderstood Love on the Spectrum and I need a new DVR.”
Reed Garrett – Are the Mets close, maybe, but Jake Diekman coming into games where there is a lefty-heavy 9th showing Carlos Mendoza is not afraid to mix and match when it comes to getting a 100 loss season for the Mets.
I’m Garcia – Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines Yippee as an exclamation of joy. It describes Yimi as the noise made when you hold the breath that Yimi Garcia will continue to be good and not give up the job of the Jays’ closer in Chad Green.
Ryne Stanek – [saw Munoz went down in a collision at the plate, went to pick up his handcuff from waivers, but he was gone, so I began singing Steely Dan] No Stanek at all…
Hunter Harvey – I’m telling you to start hiding Harvey because Finnegan is a total sell, but I hope I don’t finish myself after walking out in front of me.
Kade Smith – Here’s your mid-week download, but it should have been listed for months. His peripherals are what happens when you take the guy on fire on the cover of the Pink Floyd Wish You Were Here album and put him at Burning Man Festival drinking fireballs to bathe the Ghost Peppers.
Sell it
Seth Lugo – I love Seth Lugo. I told you to write Seth Lugo! Forget picking him up. You know I was in all of that. But, how do I put this in the most sane way possible: Imagine you took the roof off above you, and you were hovering at 30,000 feet, saw a Boeing plane miss the door, and float-swim through the air into the plane. After some discussion with the flight crew about where you’re from, you sit in the window seat, and on the wing you see Seth Lugo. That’s how he throws himself above his head. He is a 3.50 ERA pitcher. That’s respectable! He is not a 2.13 ERA pitcher. I wouldn’t trade Lugo for gambling advice from Tucupita Marcano, but I would take a look at our Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore the options.
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