Sports News

Avoiding Blurbstomp – Thank God It’s Fiction

Last night I experienced an amazing blurgia that sent me into a near catatonic state of nostalgia-bliss related to entertainment.

Yordan Alvarez (family issue) remains out of the Astros’ starting lineup on Wednesday.

The 26-year-old missed Tuesday’s game due to a family issue and was still away from the club on Wednesday….

Source: Rotoworld

I don’t remember the description of the blurb damage comes with one book among my favorite TGIF shows about the policeman’s family from the first Die Hard movie, and how they ended up being put in school because of the behavior of their young neighbor, a thug, with multiple personality disorder, and a man of flim-flam who pretended to be a composer. Blurred words beg dirty Urkel beg and encourage your writer. How many quotes can we associate with our favorite 90’s TV characters? Let’s find out.

Bryce Harper (Full House) is still out after the birth of his 35th child this season.

The Phillies star has been out for a week, and they are expecting another baby in September. May his wallet always be full.

Jarred Kelenic (Step By Step) will return to the lineup this weekend against the Minnesota Twins

Kelenic will return to the batter’s box on Saturday, one month after he intentionally missed the steps to the stadium in response to the mistake he made. After breaking his hand last season in an upset, and now this act of self-destruction, it’s hard to trust the former outfielder.

Cole Tucker (Boy Meets World) was released by the Los Angeles Angels

It’s possible that Tucker will take time with his real-life Topanga Vanessa Hudgens and travel the globe, fulfilling a deathbed promise he made to his former neighbor and teacher Mr. Feeny. We wish him the best in his journey.

Julio Rodriguez (Dinosaurs) was scratched from the starting lineup on Wednesday

Rodriguez was singled out by a pack of fearsome, humanoid dinosaurs for his poor performance against legendary managers in the first half of the 2024 season. Apparently he was going to the authorities to warn them of the impending meteor that will destroy the world as we know it, but the Dinosaurs are doing us a favor, as our fantasy leagues can remove him from their Do Not Drop list and we can pick him up. any outfield prospects will be called up to the bench, play maybe two out of ten games, and then be demoted for extra “spice” by a baseball organization with talent evaluations and Dunkin/Baskin Robbins night tactics. manager.

Television was great at that time, because it helped us forget our problems. It was like Tiktok or Instagram, only we had no control over it, and it had less ads at the time.

In the blurbs!

Blurbstomp reminder

We will analyze player blurbs on a given night, knowing that 1-2 writers are usually responsible for all player writing posted within an hour of game results. We will look at:

Boy Scout’s Flowery Diction A badge– exploring how words create meaning, sometimes destroy meaning altogether
Mathematics Participation Ribbon – Multiple Ratings and Attributes in a given blurb
Stephen A. Smith IMG_4346.jpeg Award – Given a glimpse of a player who promises too much and delivers too little.
Bob Nightengale Memorial Plaque – blurbs don’t always need to be heard, friend
The Max Scherzer Crown of Leaking Insane Rage – slurred words angry at the player are not good

The hope is that by the end of the season, we will all feel more confident in our evaluations of players when it comes to the waiver wire. We will read the blurbs and be swayed by over-the-top speculation, erroneous injury reporting, and micro-hype. I’ll know I’ve done my job when Gray posts, and there isn’t a single question about anglers in the comment section. Proceed to Roto Wokeness!

Mathematics Participation Ribbon

Aaron Nola allowed three runs on four hits in six no-decision innings against the Padres.

Nola struck out six and walked just one on the day while posting 11 whiffs in 51 swings for a 22 percent whiff rate and 24 percent CSW. The curve was the only pitch that got a swing and a miss from Nola on Tuesday, but it was enough to hold back the Padres’ offense. He now has a 3.54 ERA on the season and gets a very easy start against the Tigers next week.

The source: Rotoworld

Certain actors get the benefit of the doubt from most blurbists, and Nola is usually at the top of that list. Despite having multiple seasons that show he can leave a flaming bag of dog poop on his front door, his dimness tends to highlight the good and gloss over the bad in as boring a way as possible.

Let’s be honest: This is a common blur. I admit that I marked this blur for reasons I no longer understand, and I tried to create a golem without knowing the custom. I didn’t have any liquorice. Okay, I’ll admit that I have a passing knowledge of golems gleaned from fantasy books, tabletop/video games, noises made by Smeagol, and that one X-Files episode where there’s a mud golem and I think it had something to do with Kaballah (maybe) . I’ll admit that I based my reference entirely on the aforementioned bottle episode of The X-Files because that’s what came to mind first.

I could research it, but let’s keep the metaphor intact and factual because if I’m going to pack a blog post in 2024, you bet your supercars I’ll make your time spent worth it.

Boy Scouts Flowery Diction Badge

Carlos Correa went 3-for-5 with two home runs, two runs batted in, and three RBIs against the Athletics on Sunday.

Correa continues his hot streak in the bowl. The two home runs give him a total of eight on the season and his average hits .306 with an .879 OPS. He’s been as good as a player can dream of without stealing bases.

Source: Rotoworld

As good a player as he can be in dreams without stealing bases. I sure hope I can’t disprove this by looking at the top 30 hitters on Player Rater…

Let’s see here, the attacking players who don’t steal anything are ranked ahead of Carlos Correa

7. Marcel Ozuna
50. Anthony Santander
56. Giancarlo Stanton
64. Salvador Perez
68. Will Smith
92. Correa

Perhaps the correct definition is, “Become a good player in dreams without stealing bases.” Hyperbole, the eternal enemy of blurbs.

Bob Nightengale Memorial Plaque

The Blue Jays recalled INF Orelvis Martinez from Triple-A Buffalo.

Unfortunately it took an injury to Bo Bichette (calf) to happen, but Martinez will get a chance to make his MLB debut in the coming days. The 22-year-old is the best hitting prospect in Toronto’s system, and has hit 16 homers with an .866 OPS thus far for Triple-A Buffalo. He’s also struck out 65 times in 63 games, and swings and misses will be an issue. The potential is great, but keep in mind that he may be a one-tier player in the short term.

Source: Rotoworld

I have a lot of pithy things to write these days, but let’s keep it short: Only pitchers can be one-class players. Crappy mop-up guys who rack up K’s while hurting your ratings and don’t contribute in Wins, Saves and/or Catches are just an example of a single class player in fantasy baseball. If the author says that home runs happen in real life and this fantasy game without contributing to the Runs, RBI, and Average category in a regular league, that sounds like a very strange and exciting league. I think the league only has two categories of offense, bunts and homers. It is not a good time to think, and I ask for your forgiveness. Thank you in advance.

Boy Scouts Flowery Diction Badge

Luis Severino allowed six runs in 6 1/3 innings against the Rangers on Tuesday.

Severino hit one and gave up two home runs, which is hardly a good average. His speed was a little off tonight, and he ended up missing five swings and a 17% CSW. Even if there is as much concern on twitter as there has been for Severino after his first season 2 1/2 months ago, this is probably his most disappointing outing of the season so far. We won’t want to play him when he starts against the Yankees next week.

Source: Rotoworld

It’s the odd humblebrag that characterizes Twitter and also categorizes normal human behavior as trivial or wrong. I deleted Twitter before the season started, so I don’t understand what this “concern” is. Is the amount of concern balanced by the number of death threats a player receives in replies to his pinned tweet? Has everyone posted a GIF of Chuck Norris trying to look worried, but isn’t because he can’t express it, so you choose one where he squints and tries not to smile while not blinking and standing stock still?

On the subject of a fantasy owner’s concern about a bad start in their bowl: Duh. A person has five days after each start to completely thaw out about their ace(s) being released on opening day, especially early in the season. Even if a pitcher has been working complete dirt (which is a good thing, no I’m not going to type “shovers,” but I just do and lose) for a month, like Woo in Seattle, he gives up more than two. he runs in four innings and I get acid reflux and I try to trade him for another broken player.

I know people who like Twitter, and I don’t think I’m the best person for deleting the app, but this blurb is one of the main reasons I quit that thing. Everything happens in a magical bubble, and ideas you disagree with made by 9-year-olds or bot armies become Crucial Battles That Definitely Need to be Won. That’s why 2.5 months later we get a blurb referencing a regular fantasy baseball game framed as if it were Y2K mass hysteria.

Sometimes complaining about a player’s performance helps one hang on through the tough times and watch them succeed, like many of my shares of Mitch Keller. Sometimes, complaining about the player’s performance doesn’t work and the player continues to not hit any powers, and you end up writing about a situation in your weekly weird column where said player is drawn and split in two by an animatronic dinosaur character. a sitcom. As I said in the Razzball interview, “It’s great that I wrote Julio the year he decided to stay in the schoolyard.” That was funny. Then I wrote this very angry and increasingly violent situation, all without the help of Twitter.

Oh well!

See you next week!

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