Christian Scott of Fantasy Baseball

The Mets are promoting Christian Scott of the big ones this weekend-[presses finger to ear] “Yes, can I hear you? What’s going on? As soon as they gave him the news he was promoted to the Mets Christian Scott and he was…bad? How did that happen? I see, and as soon as they said the word ‘Mets,’ he lost command and injured his UCL. That’s incredible. Okay, thanks for letting me know.” Wow, so that’s awesome. Here’s what Itch had to say about Christian Scott before his call-up, “Rather than chasing big names, I tend to pick my spots with rookie pitchers, and this is one of them. At 6’4” 215 lbs, Scott has been adding speed since being selected in the 5th round of the 2021 draft. He was a great help as a collegian because Florida had a lot of top rotation options when Scott was there. His command came together like a full-time starter, and the slide he added to watching video of Max Scherzer produced dynamite results. In 62 innings with Double-A Binghamton, Scott posted a 0.84 WHIP with 77 strikeouts and a 2.47 ERA. I think he will start in New York soon. It’s debatable if it happened before I attacked Gray in his sleep. ” What in the world? That was the preseason, but so far it’s been the same story: 25 1/3 IP, 3.20 ERA, 12.8 K/9, 2.1 BB/9, 0.71 WHIP. There seems to be a problem with homers allowed this year (7), but think it was a small sample. Since his command is so good, and his hitting stuff is filthy, I’d take him in all the leagues to see how he does with the Mets–[presses finger to ear] “Oh, I see, that’s a shame. So, 14-18 months? Anyway, here’s what I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Francisco Lindor – 2-for-3, 1 run, 4 RBIs, hitting .207, as he entered the game, replacing Joey Wendle. The funniest thing was Mets fans, who were crying about Lindor last month, heard the other way around with Wendle. You don’t care about Lindor now, huh? Of course, he entered the game late because his stomach was bothering him. He said he felt like he would make the number two shortstop position. They call you George Brett.
Ben Brown – 4 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners (5 BBs), 5 Ks, ERA at 4.23. Shame couldn’t control anything because he was promoted, but he ended up blowing Lovelady, which sounds like it’s on the video store shelf next to Foxy Brown, who was not related to Ben, as far as I know.
Nico Hoerner – 1-for-4, 1 run and his third and fourth steals, hitting .271. Steal more! They can make Hoernier!
Christopher Morel – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and a slam (5) and walks (3), and a 2nd homer in the last four games. Morel loves the month of May. This is what I am saying to prove it. Please, please be as hot as you were last May. Morels? No! More HRs, more SBs, Above all!
Walker Buehler – He will return on Monday. I have nowhere but to chase after him. It’s not that hard. Like rooting for the 5 IP, 2 ER, 4 Ks type of game.
Paul Skenes – There were rumors that he was coming this weekend, but those rumors were proven false. He hasn’t perfected the bunts yet! He won’t be in the Buy column this afternoon, but he should be listed everywhere.
Jacob Stallings – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his first homer. You won’t be able to pass even one when it comes up Jacob’s ladder!
Josh Bell – 1-for-4 with his 4th homer. I saw Bell coming out of Lambert’s and thought I’d ring Miranda Lambert’s doorbell and see how she was doing. These are the things that come to my mind.
Edward Cabrera – 4 IP, 4 ER, 6.05 ERA. EdCab is why they founded EdUber. I’d leave it at that if it was a complete schedule of games, but since MLB is scheduled for five games on Thursday, let’s take a look at EdCab, and why his meter starts at $50. His 14 K/9 is not a typo. He was hitting everyone, but his 4.7 BB/9 made things hard to swallow. His 2.59 xFIP shows an affordable guy. If his slider and fastball qualify, they’ll be in the top 20 and top 15, respectively. I was going to pick him up? Sure, but I wouldn’t start him until I saw something decent, so he’s crawling, which is difficult in most leagues.
Jon Singleton – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer, and 2nd homer in three games, whatever, but why is Joe Espada playing Singleton every game now that Abreu is applying to be the director for a cruise in Florida and Loperfido doesn’t play? Please don’t tell them to call Loperfido to see what they have for 32 year old, never good, Jon Singleton.
Spencer Arrighetti – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 8.27. Fun fact! Arrighetti done wrong is something that sends someone home on Top Chef.
Alex Bregman – 0-for-4, 1 run and his second steal, hitting .200. One day I will do a full compilation of every offensive player hitting .200 or less.
Nathan Eovaldi – 5 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 2 walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.61, but left with groin tightness — TMI! It’s free. What is the price of getting Eovaldi in all leagues? It’s annoying. What is the trope of putting things on Jeopardy! format?
Mitchell Parker – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.53. Parker? Not on the Trader Joe’s lot! His 1.7 BB/9 plays anywhere, but the Nats won’t give him a Wins subsidy and he doesn’t strike out many guys, so Streamonator.
Keibert Ruiz – 1-in-4. He’s hitting .151, which is rum, but he’s RUNNING!
Kyle Harrison – 5 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners (5 BBs), 7 Ks, ERA at 3.79. Coming into this game, he had a 1.4 BB/9, so, yes, this game could have gone much further with Harrison being Harrisoff. Fortunately, he was facing a lineup that featured Short in the 2nd. Why? I don’t know, as Abbott and Costello would say.
Mike Yastrzemski – 1-for-2 with his 3rd homer. Carl’s Jr. Jr. he went back to where his grandfather made his bones. Where can you guess? What is that, a laboratory-hole under the castle? No! What kind of bones do you think I’m talking about! Hollywood Soundstage in Vancouver with David Boreanaz? No! Not so with that kind of Bones. What’s wrong with you? He is a bad guesser.
Josh Winckowski – 4 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 3.22 ERA. One thing Winckowski does not lack is Polish.
Kyle Bradish – 4 2/3 IP, 1 ER, as he returns from IL. Kevin from ESPN’s Get Him In Your Lineup Department said, “The stapler in the pee is mine. I’m not sure how it got there.”
Ryan Mountcastle – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs as he hit his 5th homer, hitting .290. “Elementary, my dear Westburg.” That’s David Tennant as Mountcastle showing Jordan Westburg the periodic table.
Jorge Mateo – 1-for-2, 2 RBIs as he hit his first homer. He now has the same number of homers as Wyatt Langford, and one more than Jordan Walker. [emoji that is standing on a giant block of ice under a hanging noose] Emoji, “This is going to really confuse people.”
Ryan McKenna – 1-for-2 with his first homer. Another emoji written by Wyatt Langford and Jordan Walker asks if there is space in the snow.
Gleyber Torres – 1-for-3 with his first homer. “If you stick two hundred pounds of sand to his ankles, he should sink to the bottom of the Hudson–Hold up! Gleyber has moved! He is alive!”
Carlos Rodon – 4 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.68. Regression Fairies will say you’re sweet as pie while you put the heart out of your measurements like Mola Ram.
Alex Verdugo – 1-for-3 as he returns from the father list. Her baby came out wearing two chains and the Yankees doctor ordered it to be put back in the womb.
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