Little Caminero it sounds like the store you take your toddler to when he wants to dress up like a little cowboy. “Jorge, be daddy’s best boy and I’ll dress you up like a vaquero.” [sees a family of vaqueros walking through the Glendale Galleria] Me, who is very Anglo, says to the camera, “I know where they’re going and it’s not Wetzel’s Pretzels. They will go to Junior Caminero!” The commercial director shouts interruptingly, disgusted. I ask innocently, “Or Junior’s Caminero?” Every week I take a look at some of the greatest icons of baseball fantasy, and every week they get called up. I’m kidding (kinda). Skenes was called up, Coby Mayo got injured and I’m expecting James Wood any day now. The same goes for Little Guy’s Shirt Barn aka Junior Caminero. He has nothing left to prove to the kids, and he was called up last year. He’s only 20 years old (until July), and he’s actually killing minor league baseball. He makes it look easy in all fields. It looks like Yordan Alvarez but on the other side, with ten steals. It’s not a matter of if, but a matter of when. It could be tomorrow, until September. It’s just a matter of manipulating the service time at this point. You are ready. He has metal buttons on his shirt and a ten-gallon hat that says so. And a rack of spurs for your little Thomas to choose from! Two in one, my picante vaqueros! “Cut! A pequeno, not a picante!” Anyway, here are some players you can buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
PSYCHE! This post was released on Wednesday to Patreon members. It will be released year round on Patreons, so if people are jumping on you, it’s because they paid $10. Anyway, Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell:
BUY
David Fry – “Free David?” That’s the guy who learned how to fry from Max Fried. Fry is worth catching and is averaging a 15/15 season with an absurdly good walk rate. Basically, the first year from Realmuto.
Danny Jansen – Take out the games Jansen missed due to injury, and he’s a top five catcher. Almost like Will Smith. Now keep my captor’s name out of your king’s mouth!
Luke Raley – Last year, Raley was in my buy column, like every two weeks of the season – he was in the top 75 on Player Rater until July – that is, Raley can be hot for a long time, and not just hot. the disappearing schmotato.
Nolan Schanuel – With neutral luck, Schanuel can hit 22 homers and hit .270, or the same as Vinnie “Tastes Mother’s Milk Burrata” Pasquantino.
JD Davis – I’ll give you Jonathan Davis Davis and Jonathan Jonathan Bleday all in the same blurb, but I’ll give Johnathan Rodriguez his. Just wait and see!
Josh Bell – I hear you, Bell is hitting hard right now to get off the Marlins, but he was pulled over when he went to the plate wearing a cardboard sign that had his agent’s number on it and read, “No trade clause means I don’t have one.”
Joey Ortiz – You look at his minor league numbers and it’s not hard to imagine he could have been in the majors two years ago. In the majors, he has had as many walks as Ks, both impressive, and in neutral he has been a powerful .285 hitter, and he has speed. I put all my love from Luis Garcia Jr. to Joey. Wow.
Jeff McNeil – I can’t believe I’m rooting for the Mets to blow McNeil’s lead and walk Lindor down, but watching Lindor hit at bats makes even the Mets sad.
Michael Massey – He’s either hitting 30/10/.290 or he’s a hot schmotato and the first week of the season Maikel Garcia would like a word. As a team player, I lean towards the latter.
Nick Gonzales – I liked Ke’Bryan in the preseason, but now I hope he doesn’t come back. Oh, am I too Me’an for you?
Zach Neto – Angels absorb completely, but especially their throwing. Their hitting isn’t bad by any stretch of the imagination, because Ron Washington is hitting lines and yelling RUN!!! to everyone, like you have the kinetic energy of the firecracker scene in Boogie Nights.
Paul DeJong – It sounds like an insult to say that you have a daily job with White Sux, but – Actually, it is. But he has been hitting.
Matt Chapman – Not only is it great to see Chapman hit, I hope Soler sees him and remembers, “Oh, yeah, I gotta hit that little ball with the bat! That’s right!”
Tyler Freeman – Someone from the David Fry blurb, “If Max Fried is Max Freed, and David Fry is David Free, then Freeman is Tyler Fried … man?” Stephen Vogt seems to be doing well with what he has in Cleveland. Freeman doesn’t have a lot of power (maybe 10 homers), but he might steal 30+ at his pace, and he’s been a hitter.
Jon Berti – Conspiracy theory alert! Aaron Boone was a garbage 3rd baseman, so he puts the worst hitter at 3rd to make himself better.
Alec Burleson – In Triple-A, he had a 20/4/.331 season in 432 ABs. The thing against him is that the cards have not been sold yet. There must be something wrong here.
Luis Matos – This is what I said when he was called, “Sometimes a young man does better than the younger ones, because the sacrifice he made with his neighbor’s pig – To be told that we no longer talk about animal sacrifice. Britney, the guinea pig, a beautiful two-pound-five-point girl happened to step out of the woodwork into the witch’s stew pot. His family means danger, but his friends know. So, this weekend was an eye-popper for Luis Matos. Where did that come from? Literally no one knows. That’s why I’m a little skeptical. He had 14 RBIs in 76 games last year in the majors. And then that goes through three games? [cough] Fluke! [cough] Hold the whole place because sometimes guys are hot for a week, sometimes for months. He has power, speed and a solid hitting tool. So, if your platform feels outdated, stay fresh with Matos!” And I’m the one you’re quoting!
Heliot Ramos – Everyone loves Matos (me too) and no one loves Heliot (meh, me either), but guess what, suckas?! Heliot is so hot!
Kevin Pillar – Between the White Sux, the Suckies, the Mehlins and ten other teams, there has never been a better time in history for terrific players to stay in the majors for a day job.
Jake Meyers – With Chas (Sins?) injured, Meyers came in, and, with Brucely, he was better. A lot. Meyers is hitting 30/15/.290. He’ll get better, but the Astros shouldn’t take him off their roster too soon.
Jordan Beck – Very surprised at what Beck can do at Coors this weekend. Beck on Coors? What in the name of cheap beer is going on here?
Eddie Rosario – Maybe I’m crazy, but I think Rosario can have value all year, not just this week. Maybe I’m like my father, I’m very brave.
Jonathan Rodriguez Here’s what he said when he was called, “All words must have “athan.” Robathan, Tomathan, Greyathan. It’s just amazing, and I like it cool. Johnathan was hitting well in the minors: 7/4/.276 in 156 ABs with a 15.7% BB%, but some Ks were over the top. He can be a 20/12/.240 hitter, but I don’t think he has a clear path to everyday playing time.” And I’m the one you’re quoting!
Chris Paddack – This is a Streamonator call, just like the call you make at Hoover Vacuum headquarters.
Sean Manaea – This is also a Streamonator call. “It’s sad and windy, but do you have anything to whisper?”
Reed Garrett – In this week’s podcast, I talk about how one of my leagues threw Reed to Jalen Beeks on Sunday night – after Edwin Diaz needed a break! – and, almost a week later, I’m still shaking my head like a cheaphead. Even if Adam Ottavino gets some saves in m-Edwin-a res (as in media res? No? C’mon, he’s not forced at all!), Reed has been great as a number three starter for the year, and should be included in every league.
Griffin Jax – Alexis Diaz is very close right now. It absorbs badly. Carlos Estevez? Meh, not good either! Something stinks out there. John Duran? He still smells like a joint, but he looks good under the hood. Still, Jax might see some savings.
Luke Weaver – Seeing how well Luke Weaver is doing in the center in New York brings laughter. Are all the keys failed starters or is there a valid reason why Mariano Rivera was unanimously voted into the HOF? Okay, I’m a hater, but Mo was unanimous and Bonds was not. Your museum is not valid.
Sell it
Freddie Freeman – I fully expect him to make me look like an idiot this weekend, as he puts his chompers in fifth gear and overdrives. Freeman puts his mouth down and holds up the perfect props like Pac-Man with eight-six-inch teeth. (I measured myself by pausing the TV — or should I say TeethV?) And, Freeman has officially grown up. It took some time, but he’s showing signs at 34. He looks like a 17/10/.285 vs. his 30/20/.330 guy has been for a long time. HardHit% down, junky fly ball goes up, barrels down, and average exit velocity goes down the toilet. I wouldn’t trade Freeman for a bad case of gout but I would take a look at our Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore the options.
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